closure.

just a sec..

2007-06-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

it's my 205th birthmonth.
[is there really such a word? oh whatev.]

happy [?] 205th birthmonth to me.

thanks yim.

wtf.

2007-06-29T22:26:00.000+08:00

i feel ugly.

well, i am.

everybody is busy.

2007-06-27T19:18:00.000+08:00

....crying out for some time

who am i?

2007-06-24T16:36:00.000+08:00

sounds so simple huh? i thought so. but once i sat down and tried to answer that question, boom! i really don't know how to answer it. (BTW, assignment yun for eng1. terror teacher! hwaa!) a lot of people (including me!) don't really know who they are. tsktsk. still in that stage of self-discovery and confusion i guess. whew. that question really made me realize things about myself. also a wake up call for me. guess also for you..

now ask yourself, "who am i?"

^^

everybody's screaming.

2007-06-22T22:02:00.000+08:00

another song from my playlist. a song by lost prophets. ^^ so hwatchap? nothing really.. just in the mood to update my blog. wehe. my first 3 days as a college student were over BUT next week would be definitely the start of my real college life. whew. im sort of nervous but i know this feeling would pass. i'll soon get use to a lot of things in UP. after all, what's the use of me being a former ruralite. (hambog!) hwattapak!? haha. anyway, it was really tiring. i have to walk to get to the next building where my class will be held. whew. but i can manage that. pagod na nga lang talaga pag-uwi.

hmM..well, wala talaga ako masabi na. whew. it's my tv night guys. im only allowed to watch tv during friday and saturday nights. wehe. at syempre bilang isang masunuring bata, susunod ako. wahaha. ^^

see you around!

song now currently playing: this photograph is proof -taking back sunday

another minute until ten.

2007-06-19T15:25:00.000+08:00

the song currently playing. haha. halatang nauubusan na ng title na maisip. whew.

time for something positive. wehehe.

yesterday was the start of classes for all UPLB peeps. whew. sandamakmak na orientation ang ginawa. we, rural turned UP peeps, agreed to meet at area before 630. kasi may almusalan sa SU ng 630. dumagsa ang pandesal, kape, pansit, juice, refresh (haha), pancakes at kung anu mang pwedeng chibugin. pero ni isa dun wala ako nakain. haha. busog pa kasi ako. napadame kain ko ng breakfast sa bahay. nakakapagod lang dahil nakatayo lang tapos sobrang init. may program nga pero di masyadong clear, iba talaga sound system ng up. hanep! woohpeedoo. (pero may nangyari naman maganda, nabigya ako ng CAS shirt ni padeys. wuhoo.!)

right after the program, nagkaroon ng assembly by college. at syempre pinakamadame ang CAS. waa. nagmistulang parada ang nangyareng pagpunta ng bawat colleges sa baker hall. (naalala ko tuloy ang parada tuwing intrams. hahay.) syempre, mainit at masikip. hahay. orientation na naman na hindi ko alam kung lahat nga ba talaga ay nakikinig. haha. kasi ako hinde. waha.

after nun, kumaen kami nina shimei sa sizzlers. grabe gutom ko nun. waa. in less than 5 mins ubos ko agad yung pagkain ko. haha. pumunta kame area after pero saglit lang kameng tumambay. pumunta kame nina lloyd, sam at larue sa registrar. then sa humanities. at syempre sa NCAS. may orientation kasi ulit pero this time for BS Bio peeps. whew. (feel na feel ko na talaga course ko. haha) it lasted for 3 and a half hours. mineet kame ng advicer namin right after. whew. (trivia: hanggang ngayon di ko maalala pangalan ng advicer ko. hwattapak!?)

after that, bumalik na kame ng area. di rin ako nagtagal dun. pumuta kame nina alex, pat at kate sa registrar. mineet si ate cam. at kinuha ang ID ko. haha. pero sa sobrang pagod, init at pais, di ko na muna pinavalidate sa main lib. (mataastaas na paglalakbay yun! whew) pumunta naman kami ng biosci, pinuntahan ko prof ko sa Bio 1 lab. basta may kailangang gawin. hehe.

after (whew. puro after na sinsabi ko ah.) pumunta na kame ng area upang magpahinga. haha. sa wakas! sound trip lang dun. tapos pumunta sa dorm nina alex at pagkatapos, umuwi na ko!

whew. kakapagod na araw pero masaya naman. it was good finally seeing ang hanging out with my old friends. pero syempre iba pa rin yung feeling pag kabarkada ang kasama. hay.. miss you guys...

at ayun ang recap ng nangyare sa buong araw ko kahapon. sarap ng tulog ko kinagabihan, and i woke up at around 10am. wehe.

keep you posted! ^^

by the end of the day...

2007-06-15T19:06:00.000+08:00

still nothing. no improvement of what i'm feeling. uneasiness. hay.. i don't know who i should seek for help. siguro kasi i know, i'm the only one who can really help myself right now. all along. darn. it's hard. i may look tough outside but i know i'm still that little crybaby inside. still that little child who needs someone to wipe her tears away, who needs someone strong that she can get some strength from. i'm still the same weakling with still the same insecurities and fears. seriously, i really need someone i could lean on to right now.

it was really a big blow for me. something, i know, whatever i do, i wouldn't forget. it made me weak. i'm too weak to get angry, and too weak to fight for myself. all i can do is cry, which i did since last night. i'm asking myself, 'why?'. just why. i'm trying to understand everything. but i just couldn't. i couldn't even let myself believe. i feel that i'm surrounded with all lies and even myself is a lie. i couldn't trust anyone. i couldn't trust me. i'm once again caught in this emotional tailspin. and i'm getting tired. so tired.

hay.. i just hate this blog. so melodramatic. full of angst. parang wala ng magandang nangyari sa buhay ko. hay... just save me.. anyone.

deus ex infinitum

2007-06-15T18:53:00.000+08:00

I stand before this great twilight

and saw the events of the past

I saw a picture of didtinct memories

But the vision did not last

As far as my vision would take me

To a place of no return

My vision would stay with me

Let the ends of my past burn

Living with the complexities of life

The clandestine of faith

The disparity of good and evil

... these principles i dare not break

And now the time has come

To shed light on the things that i had done

Behold my nature

By then i'll be gone

beyond infinity...

- kuwaderno, 2000

waiting for death to kiss me goodnight.

2007-06-15T08:21:00.000+08:00

that's what i felt late last night. i really can't explain what i was feeling then. my heart's really pumping hard, kabado. uneasy feeling, di mapalagay. that time, i really want to die rather i was waiting for death. akala ko mamatay na 'ko. sobrang iba talaga yung naramdaman ko. i knew something bad was bound to happen. and something did. hay..

i really feel betrayed now. i don't know how to trust. bigla akong nawalan ng gana. my hopes are crushed. sobrang iba. i'm feeling so weak. really weak. tell me how could i recover from this.....

finally!

2007-06-09T00:48:00.000+08:00

may internet na ulit sa bahay! wuhoo. pero super bagal. hay.. it took me three tries para lang magload tong page na 'to. hwaat!? haha. anyway, i've been tagged by bill and loren. yun na lang ipopost ko dito. ^^

here goes...

15 weird things about me:

1. lizards are totally FREAKING me out.

2. i'm a certified ketchup freak. (weird ba un? siguro sa level ng pagiging adik ko dun..wehe.)

3. i once gulped down a glass of fresh raw egg. (yaiyks!)

4. i love my new pup but she hates me. waa.

5. white ladies stories scares me the most. weird ba un? weh.

6. i hate fixing my hair bacause once i start fixing it, i tend to be a perfectionist. gets?

7. one BIG reason why i don't really like to study is that once i start to study and to do ell in a subject, even the smallest mistake bothers and frustrates me BIG time. (whatta excuse!? haha.)

8. i really believe that i was totally gay in my past life. wee.

9. i'm having fun brushing my tongue. =P

10. i don't really like injections. ironically, i want to be a doctor. hwaat!?

11. i've learned to play the guitar from my friends here in our place. nagsayang lang ako ng isang libo sa professional tutor ko. haha.

12. i'm afraid of bodies of water though i know how to swim. takot akong malunod. yaiyks. sino bang hindi? waa.

13. i hate to get fat but i love to eat.

14. i'm really serious with this post.

15. in fact, it took me 3 days to finish this list.

..whew. at last! wehe. yung iba wala kenta. di weird. hehe. wala na ko maisip eh. sorry..

^^

hey hey hey!

2007-05-17T16:01:00.000+08:00

finally, after a LONG LONG (yep. dead serious.) time i've updated my blog. (wuhoo. magsaya na kayo. wehe! pero hassle pa din pag-uupdate ng blog na 'to. i need to clean up the cobwebs and agiw sabi nga ni loren. ngorks. corny. wah.)

anyway, what's up with me? not much really. just spending my very productive summer break bumming around the house. haha. productive ba un? whew. also encountering one problem faced by million of students during the summer: cash. wahaha. whew. di ko nga alam how i'm surviving this eh. wa. hehe.

hay.. bigla na lang akong nawalan ng sasabihin. ehehe. anyway, maybe sooner or later i'll either update this blog just like before or abandon this na talaga. waa. hehe.

see you guys around! tata! >.<

post.

2007-04-16T14:54:00.000+08:00

ayun. post na. wahaha.(corny! haha-nika) gaga!

finally..

2007-03-17T14:47:00.001+08:00

it's been too long..since i heard the sound..the sound of my only hope..

wacheng. (borrowed from katrina.) haha. it's been too long since i updated this blog. tsktsk. well.. my pc at home is totally doomed. argh. anyway, i didn't attend CAT today. (wipee!) due to some reasons of course. i was being a good friend. tutored my friend for calculus. wee.

location? area 51. bahay ng batch. weh. feeling so bored. hay. missing someone terribly right now. hope she's fine. we had a fight yesterday. waa. i hate it whenever we had those kind of fights. when will those ever end? waa. =( i hope soon.

got nothing to say na.. hay.. im just down....

hay..

screaming out to you........

2007-02-10T23:01:00.000+08:00

Here i am.

Screaming.

Letting out another moment of missing her.

Letting out another time of loving her.

Another scream.

One more scream.

Want it to stop.

Want it to end.

When will my heart ever mend?

My eyes' breaking.

My heart's crying.

Such heaviness i'm feeling.

*sigh*

Again, here i am.

Screaming.

T_T

2007-02-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to do..... shit. sobrang lito na ko..help naman oh.... di ko na alam mga pinagsasabi ko.... i miss her so much.... i need her....i still need her.... i want her back.... i don't wanna lose her.... she still holds that place.... i hate to admit it, i still love her...so much.... mahal na mahal pa rin....... thinking of her makes my heart break at the same time skip.... di ko maimagine na mawawala na siya ng tuluyan sa 'ken.... di ko kaya..... mababaliw ako bata...... im sorry..... T_T eto na talaga ako....eto na talaga laman neto...di na ko nagisip sa mga sinabe ko.. walang halong pride... mahal pa kita...mahal na mahal.........

Know I havent slept a week at all
Since you've been gone
And my eyes are kinda tired
From crying all night long
Know I've never been too good at cooking just for one
It's so lonely here without you darling
Come back home

'Cause I'm half crazy
Feelin' sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you'd find someone else to love

Know life hasnt been much fun at all
Since you've been gone
And my eyes begin to fill
Each time I hear our song
I spent every minute asking myself
What went wrong
Can't we try to talk it over baby
Come back home

'Cause I'm half crazy
Feelin' sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you'd find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could love you like I do

'Cause I'm half crazy
Feelin' sorry for myself
Half crazy
Worried you'd find someone else to love
But baby there is no-one else
Half crazy
For everything you saying
Half crazy
No one else could ever love you
No one else could ever be

Half crazy
Feeling sorry for myself
And I'm worried you'll find someone else
Feeling sorry for myself
Half crazy..

`````

I long for the warmth of days gone by
When you were mine
But now those days are memories in time
Life's empty, without you
By my side
My heart belongs to you
No matter what I try

When I get the courage up to love somebody new
It always falls apart 'cause they just can't compare to you
Your love won't release me
I'm bound under ball and chain
Reminscing our love
As I watch 4 seasons change

In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of
The scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you (ooh)
Go skinny dipping in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves
The trees are bare, when you're not here
It doesn't feel the same

Remember
The nights when (remember the night)
When we closed our eyes (when we closed our eyes)
And vowed that you and I would be in love for all time
Everytime I think about these things I shared with you
I break down and cry 'cause I get so emotional (I feel so emotional)
Until you release me i'm bound under ball and chain
Reminscing our love
As I watch 4 seasons change

In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of
The scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you (ooh)
Go skinny dipping in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves
The trees are bare, when you're not here
It doesn't feel the same

This loneliness has crushed my heart (it's killing me baby)
Please let me love again
'Cause I need your love to comfort me and ease my pain
Or 4 seasons will bring
The loneliness again
In comes the winter breeze
That chills the air and drifts the snow
And I imagine kissing you under the mistletoe
When springtime makes it's way here
Lilac blooms reminds me of
The scent of your perfume
When summer burns with heat
I always get the hots for you
Go skinny dipping in the ocean where we used to do
When autumn sheds the leaves
the trees are bare, when you're not here
It doesn't feel the same

Remember,
The warmth of,
Days gone by....

....hear me....

galit ka na naman... =(

2007-02-10T07:24:00.000+08:00

hay.. hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano ba talaga gusto mo. *i've just read your blog.*

..you hate me. you always hate me. wala naman akong ginagawang masama ah. please..tama na..... wak na tayong ganto. hirap na hirap na ko! T_T gusto ko ng mag-move on......... gusto na muna kitang kalimutan...... the love i STILL feel for you is hurting me! T_T may vj ka na! nu pa bang gusto mo?? hindi na kita ginugulo....... hindi mo ba maintindihan bakit lumalayo muna ako?? ikaw ang nangiwan! hindi ako! hindi madali para s'ken to! kala mo ba hindi kita namimiss?? paggising ko pa lang sa umaga kaw na laman ng isip ko! sabi mo pa nga diba wag na kong umasa....di na ko umaasa....hirap hirap ng hindi umasa sayo.....pero sinusubukan kong gawin.... nalilito ako sa mga pinapakita mo! T_T eventho hindi ako nagpaparamdaman doesn't mean di kita iniisip! kahit ayaw na kitang isipin, naiisip pa rin kita! kaya please....wak mo na ko pahirapan pa...... you can always turn to me naman eh....pero wak ka naman sana magagalit..........

....wag mo na lang akong saktan kung di mo kaya ipakita na mahal mo ko......di lang ikaw ang nasasaktan sa sitwasyon naten.... wag kang maging selfish....tignan mo din nararamdaman ng iba....... T_T

wala akong iba......kasi ikaw pa din........di ako lumalayo dahil may iba ako, lumalayo ako dahil nasasaktan ako..... kahit anong gawin ko, kahit anong tingin ko sa iba, ikaw pa rin yung nakikita ko....magiisang buwan na, di ko pa din alam gagawin ko............................ puteek!! litong lito na ko!! di ko na alam!! T_T!!

sorry na lang..... pareho tayong confuse ngayon...wag na lang tayo magalit sa isa't isa......usap tayo...let's just fix this once and for all... yung usap na walang tinatago...please.... =(

eureka!

2007-02-08T20:34:00.000+08:00

boy! am i confusing?! haha. i just realized everything while i'm reading some love quotes from the net. haha.

hay.. di naman ako sad na sad talaga. maybe.. uhm..maybe i'm just missing the loving feeling. especially now, it's the hearts' month. that makes more sense. i mean, i'm happy she's happy now. honestly, i don't want her back. no, not this time. we both know that. we'll just go on hurtin each other so she let go. and i know it's the best thing to keep us from inflicting pain on each other. the pain of having separate lives is just nothing to the pain we might feel if we continue our relationship. we both love each other but the situations are against us. suko muna. di na din kasi maganda nadudulot sa isa't isa. now, we just have to get through this. if in time, we'll meet and the feelings are still there. i won't let her go na. make everything right at that time.

well, aun lang. hinabol ko lang. but don't get me wrong. i'm still quite sad. empty. broken. hehe. basta hirap iexplain. bleah! go figure!

pis!

^_^ .V,,

malungkot ako kasi...

2007-02-08T19:10:00.000+08:00

hay.. i'm kinda sad. well, not actually kinda, i'm really sad. i know why. i mean, all the people who really knew me knows why i'm feeling this way. i'm fucked up the whole day. thank God for those guys that lifted my spirit a while ago though. ^_^

hay..

malungkot ako kasi wala na siya sa 'ken.

malungkot ako kasi namimiss ko na siya.

malungkot ako kasi di ko na alam gagawin ko sa sarili ko.

malungkot ako kasi naiisip ko pa rin mga nangyari.

malungkot ako kasi parang nasayang lang yung dalawang taon.

malungkot ako kasi siguro di ko pa rin matanggap na wala na kami.

hay.....

attached. broken. empty.

i just feel empty.when she left me, everything just fell apart. gets niyo ba? i thought things wouldn't last. siya ang naging dahilan sa bawat galaw at ginawa ko. binuhos ko sa kanya lahat. kaya ngayon, wala na siya, wala ng natira sa 'ken. para sa 'ken. hay.. sa totoo lang, tearing myself open, i'm lost. di ko talaga alam sunod na gagawin ko sa buhay ko. hay..tapos may mga times naman na i feel fine. na tanggap ko lahat. that im actually enjoying my single life. shet. nalilito na ko. di ko na talaga alam gagawin ko. or what i should really feel. but aminado ako i'm still in the healing process. siguro ganto nga lang talaga. hay...

whatever. sana slowly but surely, i'd move on. hay...

so gay..

2007-02-07T20:16:00.000+08:00

haha. amp yung isang post. ahihi. wala lang.. XD

wala din 'wenta itu.

tinatamad pa ko mag-isip ng ipopost ih.

ay ay. we had a closure na last night. i'm happy now, sad a little though. she have moved on. i guess it's right for me to continue moving on. till then lil one.. = j

aun! aun lang ih. hehe.

i am happy.

pis!

PS.

yung mga sasama s'ken na makigulo sa lovapalooza. hanapin niyo lang ako sa rural, ayt? guijo room. XP may registration din tayo ih.

pis! ^_^ .V,,

fixing a broken heart? amp. XD

2007-02-07T19:57:00.000+08:00

~~Fixing A Broken Heart~~

There was nothing to say
The day she left
Just filled a suitcase full of regrets
I held a taxi in the rain
Looking for someplace to ease the pain
Then like an answered prayer
I turned around and found you there

You really know where to start
Fixing my broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

Now I don't understand what I'm going through
There must be a plan that lead me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are near

Just like an answered prayer
You made the loneliness easy to bear

You really know where to start
Fixing my broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart
Soon the rain will stop falling baby
And I'll forget the past
Cause here we are at last

You really know where to start
Fixing a broken heart
You really know what to do
Your emotional tools can cure any fool
Whose dreams have fallen apart
Fixing a broken heart

..fixing a broken heart.

amp. XD

there's something new about me.

2007-02-05T19:04:00.000+08:00

yea. you heard it right. there's really something new about me. guess what? nah! not a new lovelife. haha. just kidding. here goes! dislocated knees people! yep. dislocated kneeS. (take note of the 'S') not just one but two! haha. gosh. these hurt. hay.. i can't walk normally. para akong tuod. wa. now? i've got two ice packs sitting on my knees. damn. huhu. poor me. *pout*

details: nagkamali lang ng upo kaninang umagang hro. wala akong ginagaang kalikutan ah. niak.

okay! enough of that incidence. i miss updating this blog pero namamayani talaga ang katamaran sa aking katawan. haha. XD my last post was last january 26 i guess. wow. and it's already february 5. haha. hay.. february. month of hearts. argh. i hate this month. it reminds me that i'm already single. haha. just kiddin again. well, i love this month actually. first, it's bill's birthday on february 15. and mara's coming back from japan on the 13th. the prom on the 17th. and on the 28th my lil sis's birthday. she's turning 12 by the way. tsktsk. how time flies. on that same day, we'll leave for ilocos! haha. zero-siete's very much awaited field trip! wee! february28-march3. haha. march 3? guess who'll be coming back. yep! marian and fer! (di na daw kasama si lyndon. hmp. papaiwan na sa japan.) haha. joke. the 3 hapoyukis are coming back na! hay.. i am soo excited! marian, a big hug from me awaits you! ^_^ i miss you so much ido..

i've just remembered, lovapalooza on the 10th. waa. tara guys! XD makigulo sa mga tao sa mall of asia. who's with me? XD tsktsk. mga naiisip nga naman ng taong walang lovelife. hahay..

"heart of mine, how will you keep from dying?

stop reminiscin', who is she kissing..

heart of mine, oh what's the use in tryin'?

no one can mend you now.."

niak. at kumanta ang gaga. hay..

anyway, happy hearts' day guys. treasure every moment with your special someone. make them feel special. love them truly. appreciate them not just on this month or on hearts' day. make everyday, a 'hearts' day'. spread love. pis!

aww. halata bang sawi? toinks.

my baby's back!

2007-01-26T22:03:00.000+08:00

our internet connection is back. finally. haha.

hm. wala pa ko sa mood magpost pero parang tinatawag ako ng blog para magpost. haha. kulet.

wala. this post's 'bout something that's really bothering me.

i dunno. nalilito ko sa kanya. am i just assuming or she's giving me mixed signals? waa. one day, as if we don't know each other. like strangers in the night. lols. then the next day, she's giving me the signs that she still wants me. waa. make up your mind! hahay. nahihirapan ako. : (

hay. sige dito na lang. weh.

another night has passed.

2007-01-14T11:37:00.000+08:00

God. i'm so thankful i went thru last night alive.

that was the most heartbreaking cry i've cried.

*sigh* and she didn't even care at all.

she didn't. maybe she never did.

it's totally over.

two years went down the drain

i'm left with nothin but my friends, family and especially my God.

i have to let go.

let go of everything.

this is for me now.

for my own "survival" i guess.

i know i would be missing her but that's just part of the healing process.

i have to get thru this.

i need to get thru this.

uhm. you and i can't be friends..for now.

i'm sorry.

it's not just right for me to pretend everything's okay whenever i'm talking to you.

i still feel something for you.

it would only hurt me if i continue being just your friend.

in time,after my heart mends,

after every wound heals,

after my last cry,

we could be friends.

but not now.

i still care about you though.

somewhere, somehow,

i'm still here for you

eventhough this would be goodbye for now.

ang gulo ko nu..wa.

basta magulo magsalita ang taong heartbroken.

hihi.

so long..farewell.. till then ansoy..

para sa'yo 'to.

2007-01-13T12:39:00.000+08:00

yep. para sa 'yo. hMm..just want to say thank you sa lahat ng memories that we shared. thank you for the chance na nakilala kita, na minahal mo ko. salamat. basta salamat sa nagawa mo para sa 'ken, mapagood man o mapabad. thank you..

sorry din sa lahat ng nagawa ko. i've done a lot of things to hurt you. lalu na nuon. i took you for granted kaya siguro naging ganto na tayo ngaun. but i know, ginawa ko naman part ko para makabawi sayo. basta i'm sorry.

all i'm hoping is for us to be both happy. together man o hindi. *sigh*

one more thing, i never really hated someone i loved more than myself.

i never really hated you.

it ended last night.

2007-01-13T11:37:00.000+08:00

*sigh* after a long while i'm back. miss me? weh. anyway, we broke up. last night, things ended. everything. guess it's really not meant to be. who am i kidding? in front of everybody's eyes, we can never be together. we can never be meant for each other. eventhough, what i felt is something i know is right. feels so right, but so wrong. *sigh*

she have someone new..again. i can't blame her. we're miles apart. and as i'd said, the kind of relationship we had is "illegal". i hate the word by the way. *sigh*

sad ako. at siguro nanghihinayang. i've done a lot of things for her. did everything that i can just to stay in this relationship. parang nasayang lang lahat. i don't know. one day, she'll forget me. everything about me. about us. *sigh* sana i can get thru this.

what i hate? the "missin her" part. actually, yun talaga ang masakit. you miss everything you had. everything, you used to do. you used to say. *sigh* but honestly, i guess it's really time for us to have our own lives. i dont think we can bring back what used to be "us". only time can tell, what would really be for us. *sigh* sana i can accept everything na. i dont know. i know one day, every emotions locked up inside would overcome every self-control i have. i dont wanna cry again. pagod na ko. hindi pa ako umiiyak since last night. mas kinakabahan ako pag ganto. wa. somebody help!

*sigh* sana slowly but surely, i'll move on. i'll be happy again. di ganun kadali itapon ang dalawang taon.

sana maging happy ka na...

someday, i'd be appeciated...

2006-12-22T17:23:00.000+08:00

yea. someday you'll realize how much i really mean. i tried making you realize it but to no avail. i begged. i cried. i swallowed my pride. what more could i do for you to stop the thing that hurts me? you took me for granted. you made me look like a fool. yea. maybe i am a fool. a fool for you.
what would make you leave him?
maybe..maybe..
maybe when i'm gone completely...........

...

2006-12-06T19:37:00.000+08:00

what if im g o n e?

*sigh*

...

Main Attraction.

2006-12-01T14:30:00.000+08:00

I, I am the flame, the candle's flame. I, I stand alone, alone in the vast darkness. I am but a candle's flame. Too insignificat to shed its light, too weak to withstand the breeze. Too small to show some warmth. Nevertheless, I am a flame. I am fire. Nevertheless, I burn. I consume. Feed me fuel and taste infernal rage.

You, you are the moth. The extraordinary moth. You, you came from emptiness. From emptiness into my presence. You are but a moth. Easily attracted to the flame and as easily you disappear into the shroud of mystery. Nevertheless, it is your beauty I see, your simplicity. Don't go away, don't leave me. I just want to look at you, much more to know you.

It is not desire I have for you but mere adoration, admiration. I see in you a character full of virtue. But I do not want to meet you, I do not want to greet you. I am not for you, you are not for me. I do not want to find out you are not who I thought you were. Do not fall for me, I too am not who you think I am. Can't you see, all around me are the memories of the bitter past of those who dared. You are no different unless you stay away. I must sadly admit, I shall devour you. In the end, I alone, reamain.

You see me as a great mystery you can't remove from your mind. You see right through me and notice my contradictions. You can't help but ask why. You see a light distinct from the rest and can't believe I can do you harm. My apparent coldness, the stillness of my icy blue soul has hidden the scorching sting you will only feel on contact. You no longer distinguish between curiosity and attraction. Desire. There is nothing I can do for you. Nothing.

For a moment I doubted. For a moment I thought, was I the flame or was I the moth. I was drawn to you. The idea of you slowly crept into the crevices of my thoughts, filling each gap. I hope it's not too late, let not my desires get hold of my self. For deep within me I know I am fire. I know you will only be a victim of a disillusioned heart, and I, I would remain the same.

A mere candle in the vast city of lights. There are a lot brighter lights out there. Much safer lights. Why me? All I wanted was to gaze at you, to know who you really are. Please, don't leave. But if you must, go. And I, I will be here, alone waiting for the right one to come. The fire moth who shall overcome my nature eventually.

Wake up to reality, we are not meant to be. Our ideas of each other are but fantasies. I know you will only hate me for who I am.

bagyo na naman mga 'tol!

2006-11-30T16:55:00.000+08:00

oh my god! REMING! haha. im scared. really. waa.

Laban SENIORS!!

2006-11-20T19:17:00.000+08:00

whew. our last intrams was finally over. T_T bitin! the days went so fast and before we knew it, we were champs for the cheering competition and went home as over-all champs *uh,yeah. we tied with the juniors. let's not skip that tiny bit of information. waha!*. okay! so let's start with tuesday.

tuesday, november 14:

** arrived for the parade at around 6am. a little while we put on our shades. yep. gimmick. haha. but some of the juniors were also wearing shades. no worries though, they didnt have that edge anyway. ahaha. we walked from agapita to baker hall. it really made me sweat. *partida, mahina na ang baga. haha* anyway, once inside, i didnt know why or how but our batch really kept their mouths shut! whatta miracle! haha. yan tuloy nauto ang mga judges, "most disciplined" ang itinapat. ahaha. that was a first and definitely the last. haha. bill and minmin, by the way, were mr. and ms. intrams for this year. *clapalakpak* at dahil napakaganda nga ng aming batch shirt, we also won the best shirt. wee.

** 1130am, the cheerers were already busy wearing their leggings and skirts. a little later padeys came then the other ates and kuyas who taught them their dances. at around 12pm, the room was buzzing with action. curlers on one corner, make-ups all over the place. waa. i felt a bit dizzy and just decided to stay out of the room. haha. fell asleep in an armchair outside. haha. nagising ako dahil may isang malakas ang apog na sophomore na nag-tatap nung armchair. the nerve. grr. and by the way, i hate their batch.Ü

** 230pm, cheering competition started with the sophies. *ulk* waha. first stunt pa lang nila, giba na! waha. talk about being mean. haha. hmM..their routine was ok. thats all i can say. i hate their color by the way. the next was us. wuhoo! the SENIORS. our cheerers looked so great. sizzling hot. haha. kidding aside, they all looked so pretty in their leggings and skirts with matching white headbands. wee. the guys? the batch shirt really looked great on them. bagay! astig nilag tignan lahat. ^_^ the routine? entrance pa lang, nakakakilabot na. astig talaga! the stunts were stunning! waha. i heard a lot of "woahs" and "wows". i was pretty confident that we'll grab the first place then. wee. ang lively at ang saya pa nung kulay. ganda tignan! the juniors were next. wee. i was kinda nervous. haha. but later on relaxed. dragging yung routine nila. its a bit boring. mabagal kasi. i dunno. but their "bring me to life", kinilabutan ako dun. haha. maganda kasi. hehe. anyway, last to present was the freshmen, ganda ng kulay nila. lively. apple green and white. masarap sa mata. their routine was ok. they had the chance of breaking the history of freshmen grabbing the last place. wee. kaso recycled nga lang yung ibang cheers and dances nila, got it from the last year's seniors. weh. *they're, by the way, our batch's rival. sobra kasi. pangit ng mga ugali. salbahe. eh kami, mababait. wehe.* <BR>
** after the competition, we went to the softball field. practice. practice. practice. hmm.. felt soo nervous then.

wednesday, november 15:

** arrived at aroud past 7am, felt nervous for the softball game versus the sophies. *sigh* the game started, balls were pitched. balls were caught. balls were batted. runners ran. bases were dashed on. to cut the story short, we lose. 10-6. it was a big blow for us. especially for me and fritzie. the feeling of losing to a team you already defeated, of breaking your batchmates' expectations, of your own expectations, of being champion last year but now placing for the third or worst, for the last and of giving your best for the game but still nothing came out right were enough reasons to drive myself into tears. *sigh* we knew we can beat them but emotional stress came out first. *sigh* a lot were in tears. kahit si "coach". coach, sorry. *sigh* thanks meish and loren, kayo sumalo sa 'ken nuon. right then i realized the importance of each teammates. the importance of enjoying the game. the importance of the batchmates' supports. i still thank God for teaching us that. yea. sometimes God puts you into something low to teach you a lot of things so that you wouldn't make the same mistakes again. whew.

** i texted ansoy telling her we lost and that i feel so bad. thank God for her. she's right, "hindi lagi winner tayo". she encouraged me and brought my pieces together. that was enough to make my day again. di mo lang alam, i'm really thankful for you. you pushed me to be my best. ^_^

** all of our other major games went well. including basketball girls. wee. jizza made a lot of points. mvp! haha. i really enjoyed our game. i applied what i learned after the softball match. and it really turned out good. ^_^ thank God and thank ansoy. hehe.

thursday, november 16:

** a month to go before loren's very much awaited birthday. she kept on telling us. haha. anyway, i felt a lil down. kami lang may major game para sa seniors that day. it was the loser versus the loser day. weh. well i cant do anything about it na so i just enjoyed our game with the freshmen. and thankfully we won. hehe. last year's champions, now 2nd runner-ups. hehe.

friday, november 17:

** last day for our last intrams, also the winner versus winner day. wee. arrived early for the softball game of the juniors and the *ulk* sophies. haha. as what the juniors said, "dudurugin namin sila para sa seniors." aw. so sweet. :D haha. of course the sophies lose. next game was our softball boys versus the juniors. we're kinda nervous about this. the juniors were really good in softball. and they really were. we lose. wee. a lot of our boys cried. *sigh* even their coach. wa. i felt like crying too but heps! nag-moment ka na nung isang araw. tama na. weh.

** soccer was our batch's forte. the girls won over the juniors with the score of 3-1. also the boys won over the juniors with the score of 9-0. wee. need further explanation? haha.

** volleyball. we're pretty confident about this sport too. next to soccer, i can say this sport is also our forte. girls? the game was heartbreaking. we lose. same things happened. emotional stress came out first for our girls. dikit ang laban! but maybe its not really for us. so give it up for the juniors. in fairness, the juniors were good. God just taught them, volleyball girls, what He taught us, softball girls, then. the next game was volleyball boys. dudurugin daw nila ang juniors. and they did! wee. a lot of good spikes and drops. sobrang ganda ng pinapakita ng boys. enough to encourage us, basketball girls, to give our best for our game. whew.

** basketball. i gulped down my extra joss. haha. its effective. really. hehe. i was nervous but i pushed that aside, and tried to enjoy everything. weh. and so we did. the game was good. we were controlling it. but then, jizza our star player was fouled out. it made the team a lil weak. and things were gettig out of hand. toni was injured and i can feel the team losing its hope as the juniors scored and scored. we lose. it was too much for me. i went to our room and broke down into crying. *sigh* but i remembered what ansoy said. it encouraged me again and made me accept everything. wee. di ko man nasabi, you're a big part of my intrams. ^_^ i went down to watch our boys crush the juniors. wee. and they did. ganda ng laban! a lot of 3-points. a lot of good assists. a lot of good blocks. weeh. right there i saw our batch as one. the unity. and the things that God taught us that intrams. ang saya. sobrang saya. i wouldnt forget those moments and the feeling of being a part of class zero-siete. ^_^

** awarding. wee. we were champs for track and field ad marathon. fast runners. wehe. awards were given. and the moment we were all waiting for came: the announcement of the winners for the cheering competition and for the over-all champs. wah. cheering. the freshmen got the 4th place. weh. when the 3rd place was announced, the seniors and the sophies roared with ecstacy. the juniors got it. they sat almost motionless. you can feel their pain and sadness. *sigh* but we're so caught up with our own happiness. wenk. the sophies got the 2nd place and we, the SENIORS got the first place. wee. over-all champ. we tied with the juniors for the over-all place. we didn't mind it at all. we're happy about that. di rin na naman namin ineexpect yun eh. but God is still so good. ginawa pa rin Niya yun sa amin. weeh. we were so happy. after the awarding our batch huddled and for the last time: "laban SENIORS!"

** there was dinner given by the PTA after the awarding. SU : the official tambayan [?]. hehe. there were a lot of food. yum. yum. after eating? icing/cake fight! haha. john was chasing me with a hand full of icing. i thought i was already safe but then out from my back, he smudged icing on my face. grr. for revenge? siniritan ko siya ng tubig. haha! after that, loren and bill were my next targets. waa. una si bill tapos si loren. wee. basta masaya yung party. kakapagod nga lang. hehe. we went home at around 9pm. dumaan lang kami sa LB square to check on my other batchmates. inuman. haha. but! di ako uminom. wow. :D

finally, tapos na. hehe. that intrams, i could say, was the most memorable and life-changing *waa. haha.* event in my life. hehe. i learned a lot. salamat batchmates. ^_^

salamat din kay ansoy, kahit na nagkaroon ng tampuhan ika pa rin naging inspirasyon ko nuon. hehe. mwah! i love you ming. ^_^

at most specially salamat kay God. for teachig us and guiding us through the intrams. ^_^

wee. haba nu? :D

here where i first met the people from DAVAO...weeh.

2006-11-13T10:23:00.001+08:00

haha! right. im here in compas where everything started about two years ago. whew. that long huh. well im just glad that it did happen anyway. ^_^

softball practice is over for now but later on at around 4pm it will resume again. whew. i can feel the pressure now. somebody help! haha. BTW, john's facial wash is so effective. haha. "Master (sikreto ng mga gwapo.)" try it guys. i highly recommend it. :D

hmM..last night was one of the happiest nights lately. hehe. yea. my tummy really hurts but it's really great that ~my ansoy~ is finally back. *sigh* so happy! the "incident" REALLY freaked me out. it also made me realize a lot of things. now, im really putting everything again into our relationship just like the way it used and really should be. help me huh. i cant do this without you. one thing though, just understand when im feeling so jealous and possessive. well i really have the right anyway. just be patient with me huh. i really want to do this right this time.

hey.. im just happy. im making ~my ansoy~ happy. hehe. ayt?

i love you ~my ansoy~! you're making me fall for you again and again. i hope im doing the same with you. we're gonna make things right this time. whatever happens, remember that i love you and i'll always will. ^_^

thanks for making me realize my mistakes eventhough you really freaked the hell out of me. haha!.

i love you.

oblivion is fallin down.

2006-11-03T21:05:00.000+08:00

waa. haha!

the day you said goodnight

currently playing.

buhay pa pala

tong track na 'to

sa computer.

weh.

anyway,

got nothin

to say really.

hahaha!

ta ta..

>.<

first of november.

2006-11-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

boo. yea. scary. toink.

im soo dead tired right now. *sigh* and things aren't turning to what i expect them to be. grr. this day kinda sucks. i expect something a lil special about this day pero wala. wala. wala. wala. bull. and im really worrying about someone pa. naman. GIVE ME A BREAK! hell. pagod na 'ko. pagod na pagod na. literally and figuratively. im burning out man! darn.

*sigh* again im feeling hopeless. umaasa pa kasi ako eh. tanga nga naman talaga. stupid. *sigh* dunno. you and i cant go on being like this. you know that. one day, once and for all, we'll see.. it will be totally over for you or for us. *sigh* when will i ever learn? when will you ever learn? jeez.

well up to here na lang muna. i am soo tired. good night. hapi halow-win!

just one of my thoughts..

2006-10-29T17:18:00.001+08:00

this might sound out of this world or plain stupidity..hahaha!..anyway, last night i had the chance of reflecting on my life and boom! i realized that my life is soo boring. yeap. down right serious. boring. i mean i live a monotonous life. i wake up. i eat. i go to school. chat with friends. i have arguments. i sleep. the next day it's still the same. it really sucks! i mean, i realized i want something new in my life. something exciting, something to add spice. weh. hahaha!

another thing, i feel so useless, hopeless and helpless. wow. sounds like a total idiot. haha! true. i feel useless because i feel i've no purpose at all. i can sit all day without doing anything. i feel that i'm really wasting my time. and that's why im feeling hopeless, i cant think of anything that can help me out of this what? dunno what to call this state i am in. see how hopeless? darn. helpless. i cant help myself out of this. i mean it's soo alarming. really. especially for me. what am i gonna do with my life? dunno. college? maybe that's why im excited about going to college. to try out something new. meet a lot of new people to spark up some interests. new interests. *sigh* i dunno..

i wanted something. but i dunno what that something is. i feel so lost. really. i dunno what's taking place in my life right now. maybe im lacking something. maybe im not happy. or maybe i am. but just want something to prove that i really am happy. i dunno. im also confuse. know what, right now im beginning to learn something new about myself..that i really don't know myself at all. *sigh*

sorry my posts may sound so emotional but i think it's really me. this blog is only my outlet of what i really feel.

trust. again.

2006-10-28T15:58:00.000+08:00

i just remembered: somebody broke my trust last night. *sigh* what's wrong with you people!? why do you go on breaking everything!? grabe. galit na naman ako sa post na 'to. ayus na rin to at least may nalalabasan ako ng sama ng loob. grr. of all people, ikaw pa. naman. it could be just a small thing for you pero the simple act of lying!? [is it simple!?argh.] c'mon! you hurt me big time. i can't even make myself talk to you and patch things up. and the mere thought that you said that it was just for fun can make me argh!! nevermind. i don't see the point of lying. yeah, i have my share of lies and everything pero iba to eh. you're someone that i trust. damn. trust! alam mo namang my trust was broken before! why would you make me feel this way again!? sama talaga ng loob ko sa'yo. i don't know how to face you sa undas. *sigh*

pano na 'to ngayon? di pa kita mapatawad. sana di mo na lang ginawa.

..sana lang talaga.

pain hurts.

2006-10-28T14:32:00.000+08:00

whatever.

wasted.

2006-10-25T19:44:00.000+08:00

weh. yeah right. dunno, i think im really wasting my time these past few days but i dont even know what to do to make something productive out of my time. i mean, im just watching things flow. talk about being a total bum. ive got nothing good to do. practices? uh..sort but not really. i cant even feel intrams approaching. i mean, there's no pressure and everything. wa. this is soo alarming! it'll suck if we lose this intrams. waa.

out of the blue: college. im really excited for college. it's just a sem away! my highschool days will be finally over. *sigh* its time to get serious. enough of fooling around and breezing through acads. im in for the real thing. wee. im also nervous. hope i can get through this. another thing about college, having separate lives with the people i hang around with during my whole stay in rural. aww. i'll miss those guys. i cant really explain how i feel or what im feeling right now. excited at the same time sad and almost scared. wee. but this is life. gotta get through this. ^_^

anyay, got nothing good to say na. haha! ta ta!

28th of may

2006-10-25T08:52:00.000+08:00

a day before my birthday.

what the fcuk!?

2006-10-25T07:55:00.000+08:00

now what!? gusto ko na lang mag-mura ng mag-mura! as soon as i woke up, napagalitan na naman! halang buhay to! bwiset! wala na bang ibang pwedeng mangyare na maganda, ha?! so sick and tired of this goddamned life! di halata that i'm sick of my life!? well i am! puro na lang kayo pasakit! time out naman! di ko na kaya! bwiset! puteek. akala niyo kayo lang napapagod!? pagod na pagod na din ako! langya! di ko na kilala sarili ko dahil sa inyo! gusto ko ng kumawala! magwala! mawala! gusto kong sumigaw! ilabas na 'to lahat! walang nakakaalam kung ano talaga nararamdaman ko! walang nakakaintindi!

...

..tama na..pagod na 'ko..ayoko na o....

mosquito bites.

2006-10-21T20:19:00.000+08:00

yea. definitely true. dead serious. these creatures are really pissing me off big time. argh. why won't they bite each others' heads off instead!?

anyway, enough of that crap. i've got nothing to do and i'm so bored! waa. how's my day? not quite good. scolded first thing in the morning, how's that to start the day? amf. the next thing i knew i was cleaning the house. weh. went out the house at around 11am and crap i was an hour late for our econ meeting. amf. (JFYI,the connection is so s l o w. amfness!) anyway, i saw bianca walking towards area51 ("bahay" as they call it. weh.). i was going there anyway so i accompanied her. miracle of all miracles, LOREN was in there. wow! XD erika was also there, watching one tree hill at youtube. i sat beside her and started asking infos bout the series. wee. after that, loren and i went to mcdo to grab some food. really hungry! we talked, talked and talked. well, im really happy things are back to normal between us. ^_^ bianca arrived later on and fritzie a couple of minutes later. we talked, talked and talked as if that's the only thing that we can do. weh. humprey and rovel came. after a while, they (including loren) headed to minmin's house to construct their project in physics. fritzie and i were left behind. fritz decided to play cs at area. after an hour or so at area, i went home. alone. (huhu.. T_T) i walked actually, feeling so sentimental and all that stuff. waa. at around 5.30, i was finally home. i just finished the book i borrowed from erika. aww. it's definitely good! ^_^ i called up my cousin. talked and talked and talked. after that, i ate my dinner. i washed the dishes. did some fooling around with my sis. and now, in front of this pc currently, being bitten by these goddamn pieces of sh*t (translation: mosquitoes. ^_^). argh.

*sigh* i'm missing her. aw.

well, till here. blog you ages later! tata.. >.<

bored. amf!

2006-09-02T16:04:00.000+08:00

waa.

i'm so bored..got nothing to do..!!! argh!

hMm..want to go to UP..but dunno if pwede..pesteng tutorial ni mai..pati tuloy ako di makaalis ng bahay..amf!

grr!

hate it!

first day high!

2006-06-19T14:29:00.000+08:00

nasasabik sa unang araw ng eskwela
taas kamay, with confidence
let's do the first day high!

kung umaapaw sa talino, do the brainy high!
kung mayaman si papa, do the sosy high!
kapag mahilig ka sa sports, do the MVP high!
kung cool ka't astig, do the rebel high!
kapag solid sa bait, do the nice guy high!

itaas ang kamay!
let's do the first day high!

wahaha!..im so excited for tomorrow..first day of classes!.wipee!..here come the SENIORS rural high!..ahehe..last year in my oh so beloved school..haha!..there'll be a lot of things na to make me busy.. *sigh* at last!..ahihi..

grabe!..bigatin mga classmates ku..top5 ng batch asa Guijo [pron: gi-ho, pde din gi-hu.. haha!].. waa. tas ang Diabolic Duo andun din..oh ang saklap!..hahay.. but buti na lng andun sina kat, mara, lianne at chndy..wee. andun din si ate camie at john2!..wee. at xempre nga pala, ang aking oh so ever bro, si fafa gelo!..waha!.. magiging masaya ang school year na 'to..!.. pero may downside din.. di ku na classmate sina loren, bill at rachel.. sina pau, janine..waa. wa aku ka.grandslam pero kaya ku 'to!..wee. actually, mas ok pa nga situation ku kesa kay nika.. lagi siya napapahiwalay..waa. pero don't worry bata..i'll always be around..ayt?!.. ^_~

hM..xempre di mawawala ang part ng blog ku na sad..ahehe!.. dunno...basta i'm not so happy right now.. something's really bothering me... *sigh* sana maaus na to.. sana lang talaga....

uhm..dito na lang.. be happy!. ta ta..! >.<

melodramatic fool.

2006-06-17T16:20:00.000+08:00

it's me i guess.. *sigh* why do i always tend to be so emotional and tend to be negative?? sometimes it really pisses me!.. argh!.. i can't help it..eventhough i don't want to be like this anymore..!..i'm really feeling sad..damnit!..i hate it! i hate it!..i hate myself for being like this!.

dunno what to do about it.. *sigh* im feeling really helpless..damnit!..it's ruining everything!..why do things always end up this way?!..argh!..i dunno how to handle this! it's eating me alive!!..waa. im so depressed..i wanna cry but dunno why i can't..haha..sh*t!.. nobody can understand why im like this..no one can.. guess i just have to keep this all by myself.. just wait till i drop..goddamnit!

...

i'm ok... i'm just fine... ayt?!..nothing's bothering me..nothing... i'm fine..no problemo... : )

...

~~melodramatic fool?~~..yeah right!..

i'm bored. i'm bored. i'm bored. and hey did i say im bored?!.

2006-06-15T21:33:00.000+08:00

i really am bored!..wahai..decided to update my blog again..ala lang..para lang my makausap..wee. we're not texting right now..ala load..ahaha!. my fone's miracuosly not busy..wehe!.

i tried to sleep pero to no avail..i guess i'm not used to sleeping early..waa. ehey!..im still listening to some old stuff..currently playing is one of my top picks.. only reminds me of you by st. paul..aw. i really love the song.. here's some part of it:

how could I ever let you go?

is it too late to let you know?

I tried to run from your side

but each place I hide

it only reminds me of you

when I turn out all the light

even the night

it only reminds me of you..

it's really good.. >.<

i'm looking at some profiles in friendster..one caught my attention..an emo kid..ahihi..think somebody broke her heart..aw. sadness..hahay.. anyways,i'll stop talking bout her..chismis na ito!.ahehe..

aw. we're going out nga pla tomorrow..dunno if i can join them pa..after what happened kanina..waa. scolded by my parents again..for just a little thing that i didn't do.. well, i see their point but they shouldn't have shouted..waa. i hate it!..argh!..

*sigh* my day didn't turn out right..and honestly, i dunno why i'm still feeling things that i shouldn't feel na..duno what to feel na.. *sigh* im having colds pa ata..ahay!..

well till here na lng muna guys..think i need to rest na..good night world.. ta ta!. >.<

amf!. so slow..grr!

2006-06-15T15:44:00.000+08:00

argh!..the connection is so slow..waa!..i hate it..wahai..that's one of the few things i hate about when it's raining here..the connection is really getting slow..waa.

anyways, i'm all freshen up..ahaha!.. *sigh* i'm signing up for some sort of chatbox..ahehe!..for my profile in friendster..that's the only thing i want to add for now..ahihi.take a look at my profile..here's my url: http://www.friendster.com/yimipot .. thanks!. >.<

still listening to some oldies but goodies..haha!..i really enjoy these stuff.. it makes me think about marian..waa. one of my friends..she's in japan right now..acceted as one of the exchanged students..waa. i miss her.. *sigh* she also loves these kinds of stuff..really.. she's quite sentimental din eh..ahihi!.we'll be waiting for you guys!..pasalubong kung snow..! wee.

wew. im hungry..haha!..di pa ko kumakain ng lunch..ahai..patay aku neto..ahehe!..hM..just gonna grab some food ayt?!..blog ya later.. ta ta! >.<

why do i always need to think of a title?! amf!

2006-06-15T10:55:00.000+08:00

ahaha!..cant think of a decent title eh.. my second entry..wipee!..im currently listening to the carpenters..waha!..oldies but goodies..wee.

waa. i had a dream..waa. and it felt so real.. scary.. we're both ok daw then i learned that dead na daw siya.. i can't accept it and feel ko it's not really true..i tried n makausap ko mga friends niya but to no avail..nakausap ko yung cousin niya and i've learned na hindi pa pala siya dead..ayaw lang talga niya ko makausap..waa. amf!. panget!!..ahaha!..but i know it's not possible.. >.<

anyways, my head is terribly aching yesterday..argh!..i end up dringking double dose of aspirin and dumping a lot of pillows on my head..wehehe!.. guess it's effective at around10:30, i'm feeling a lot better na.. wee!..

hmM..nothig to say pa..its quite early pa din naman..ahehe!..see ya later.. ta ta!. >.<

senti mode

2006-06-13T07:44:00.000+08:00

weh..yep..just in the senti mode..listening to nina really makes me feel sentimental..wahaha!..so what did i do?..signed up for a blog i guess.. *grin*

still early in the morning and im here in upLB..wehe!..nagGagala..weh.. *grin* *sigh* first day of school for most of the people i know..but i'm gonna wait for another week for the start of our classes.. waa!.. amf! i really miss the classroom mood..waha!..another waa..im graduating na!..last year in my high school..wuhoo!..it makes me nervous, giddy and really excited but also scared..really scared..most of my friends won't be around..waa.. *sigh* seriously, i cant imagine my life without them..for almost two years, they became a part of my life..always there through thick and thin..second family?yeah..this will be the last year we'll be spending together..i'll miss those guys.. *sigh* aww. im really feeling sad na..

*sigh* another thing that makes me a bit sad and scared but makes me happy din, college na siya..wehe!..dunno..there will be a lot of people that you'll meet..wahai.. there's nothing i can do about it but just continue trusting ang loving you, i guess.. *sigh* but i'm happy na din kasi the closer we are to finishing college , the sooner we'll meet na..wipee!..wehe!.. just as you put it, uga!.wehe!..that's definitely me: uga! *grin* all i know you'll always be the one..ayt?.. : )

wew. i guess that's all for now..it's still early and i guess i'll catch some buzzing things up..think i'll just blog you later..ta ta! >.<